Ich warte darauf ( dass
er mir sagt [ Heather,
ich bin deine ] dass er mich
liebt ) – für eine Bekanntgabe ::
Wann ich bin fertig mit
diesem Gedicht (diesem Durcheinander
diesen Worten
diesen Gedanken
diesen Seufzern ) . Ich
werde für eine
Weile
hier sein.
Ob ich das loslasse,
außerhalb ( mein Gott,
wie schön [ seine Augen
sind ] ist das Wetter heute ) denn
vielleicht werde ich lösen
was ( werde ich
nächstes Jahre
machen
ohne ihn ) ist
mein probleme.
Ich verlasse bald.
Ich wollte verlassen ( und
warum etwas wollen ob
es ist nicht für uns
zu haben? ) seit ...
... für immer. Aber
habe ich viele Angst
( vor was? ). Vielleicht
das ist die
Bekanntgabe dass
ich suche.
Und ob es ist nicht
besser? Ich habe
Angst dass
es ist ihn wer is
bestimmet ( aber wer
entscheide? ) für mich.
Ich schätze dass ich habe
Angst ::
Angst ( dass das ist das –
das ist
eine Ende ) . Ich habe Angst
von brauchen von was
ich laufe.
Ob einfach er hat mich
gesagen ( neiman anders, nur
mich ) dass er
liebt mich ::
würde ich dennoch ihn lassen –
ihn und alles? Ja,
ich denke.
Aber ich würde ihn
in meinem Herzen
halten
für immer.
Und warten -
Für immer.
Ob meine Träume
( meine unausgeführten Wünsche ) sind nicht
besser als meine
Wirklichkeit
[ Ich werde kein
Haus haben . ]
Ich schätze dass meine
Bekanntgabe
Ist das ich habe Angst
von meinen eigenen
Erwartungen.
Ich verlasse
bald.
Mein liebe ( ist est was
du bist ? ) , verlass mit
mir.
Komm mit mir.
Und wir werden
sehen. |
It has come to my attention that our group is composed of Jennifer Aniston-sympathizers.
As a firm believer in the CoeXisT movement, I'm all for sympathizing with what people consider the enemy (Jews, Muslims, the Iraqi people, etc). But this is out of control, people!
In the defense of Angelina Jolie:
Angelina Jolie clearly wanted kids. Jennifer Aniston has said since the beginning that she did not. Brad Pitt wants kids. So, if he finds a woman he's willing to have a family with and it's not Jennifer, too fucking bad for her!
While Angelina Jolie is out supporting women's and children's rights in Africa and in the Middle East, Jennifer Aniston is back home making crappy movies (admit it, they all suck) and making queer statements like "Billy Idol called, he wants his look back" after Brad Pitt died his hair FOR A MOVIE.
Angelina Jolie is clearly a deeper, more worldly person dedicated to the advancement of human rights around the world. Jennifer Aniston just sits around and mopes about her husband leaving her for someone like Angelina Jolie (said in a very scornful tone, ironic, since Angelina Jolie is a wonderful person).
If I had the choice between a UN goodwill ambassador who gained citizenship in Cambodia out of respect for Cambodian culture and her love for a little boy named Maddox and a flaming bitch who is horrible at her profession and only in the spotlight because of her relationship with Brad Pitt, I'd go for Angelina.
So, Maggie ma cherie, don't look upon Angelina as a homewrecker.
When in truth, Jennifer is the homewrecker for forcing Brad Pitt to go through the best years of his life for a family without the prospect of ever having kids.
That's not being a homewrecker, that's not allowing a home to even happen.
So what "home" is it that Angelina has wrecked? A crappy one...
And Angelina was pregnant AFTER they separated, but everyone knows the legal process takes forever, so what difference does it make if he and Jennifer weren't "divorced" yet? Isn't divorce just a state of mind? Clearly, their marriage was over long before it was noted on paper... |
I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size
I been known to cause a few break ups
I been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol
I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those
Naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head
'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux, France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol |
Il reste de nous des bouts de ruine
Des pans de murs anciens, des pierres où l'on devine
Que la vie fut belle et riche, avec tant d'amour en prime
Avant que le temps ne l'abîme
J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Je n'ai presque plus mal
J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Juste à peine un peu froid
Mais guérie de quoi? Guérie de quoi?
Si l'amour m'est égal?
J'ai presque plus mal, juste un peu froid ...
Là
J'envie la fille qui dort dans les bras qui me tenaient
Son coeur bât-il autant que le mien quand il battait?
Les mots que tu dis tout bas, j'avais raison d'y croire aussi
Avant que le temps m'ait trahie
J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Je n'ai presque plus mal
J'ai guéri de toi, guéri de toi
Juste à peine un peu froid
Mais guérie de quoi? Guérie de quoi?
Si l'amour m'est égal?
J'ai presque plus mal, juste un peu froid...
Là |
Update on my afternoon.
Harvard interview. Sweet 23-year-old black girl (I hate saying that racist term, but she was caribbean-american, not african american), alum of '04.
Defined "shoo-in" as "someone with, you know, educational backgrounds and achievements as amazing as yours."
HELL YES, PEOPLE!
So it went very well.
BEAUTY PAGEANT questions and even worse answers on my part...
Then went job hunting, since I was in my good heels and my hair was done. I really think Sigrid Olsen's going to work out. Right across from where I used to work, J.Jill. Awkwardo is that the week I started working at J.Jill, the managers and half the staff at J.Jill went to work at Sigrid Olsen, so there was something of tension between the two stores... So if I work there after not even applying at J.Jill, oooh.. not that I ever did, but can't plan on shopping at J.Jill now...
Also applied at Coach, which is where I'm REALLY hoping things will work out. I need to get accustomed to the whole snobby-people-in-black-suits atmosphere. Considering I walked in wearing a black suit...
Today's lyrics come from Johnny Cash. This would SO be my ANTHEM, but unfortunately, it's not "Woman in Black."
( Man in Black ) |
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Quote of the day.
"So did you go to church on Wednesday nights and everything?"
"Me personally? No.
Collectively? No."
23 jan 2006 @ 20:24
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In my quest to reconnect with my roots, I have come to appreciate Johnny Cash. Carly would be so proud. Here are the lyrics to the NIN song he covered that I am coming to respect:
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
...
So it was neat going to BCHS today...
C'est tout pour maintenant
23 jan 2006 @ 17:23
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I thought yesterday would be my last livejournal entry for quite some time.
But I can't disappoint my faithful livejournal audience!
You all know those crappy posters that say things like life is a journey, not a destination?
That's a load of crap.
My thoughts:
Life is a series of destinations. It may take you on the wrong turn or a shortcut to where you need to go, but life is a continuous chain of arrivals and departures. What makes it continuous, and not simply one destination, is the person you become after one destination is reached. Through the next departure to the next destination, you have the option of staying who you were or who you became.
I thought about this on the way back to the appartment today.
I knew better than to turn around today. I knew better! But no, I turned around after the final goodbye to Tracy and Carole, only to see them hugging each other and bawling hysterically.
Yes, I made good grades, yes, I am now fluent in my second language and very good in my 5th, but that's not what I'm most proud of. What I'm most proud of will be what I will realise weeks from now. So today was the arrival at a destination, tomorrow will be another.
While no destination can ever be a failure, only a setback, I am overwhelmingly proud to say that the destination I finished today could not have been more successful.
Au revoir à tous, à bientôt.
And remember, there is no problem in the world that cannot be solved by the best of all possible brioche au chocolat.
09 déc 2005 @ 16:14
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Everyone, I am still here. Another 5 day span with no internet access. In the middle of reading no less than 25 emails.
I do not have long, I don't imagine, as it's the 8 Décembre and the D's and I are most likely going out to see the sights. Went last night, was AWESOME, but will explain in more detail later.
By later, I mean when I come home in 2 days.
Today's song lyrics come from Don Black's musical (Andrew Lloyd Webber-inspired) Bombay Dreams, and was immortalised by Sarah Brightman on her latest CD.
"The Journey Home"
The journey home
Is never too long
Your heart arrives before the train
The journey home
Is never too long
Some yesterdays always remain
I'm going back to where my heart was light
When my pillow was a ship I sailed through the night
The journey home is never too long
When open arms are waiting there
The journey home is never too long
There'sroom to love and room to spare
I want to feel the way that I did there
And think my wishes through before I wish again
The journey home is never too long
Home hopes to heal the deepest pain
The journey home is never too long
Your heart arrives before the train
Not every road you come across is one you have to take
Now sometimes standing still can be the best move you ever make...
Thank you again for being such a great livejournal audience. To use the catchphrase that has, unfortunately, caught on like wildfire around here, you have all been the best of all possible livejournal audiences. (That's exactly what happens when you read Candide with a bunch of French nerds. You actually use it in daily conversation...)
Everybody wish me luck tomorrow. Last day with my friends!!!!!!!!
Je vous aime et I will see you all very soon,
Heather.
Love you mom!
*Edit* Brigitte just called, traffic on the interstate (what a retarded translation, *pats self on back*), so I have time to properly update.
My school had been chosen by the government of Burkina Faso to host an exhibition and sale!!!!! I myself bought a keychain, a cute little elephant, to contribute to the cause. Such an honor! They had the PRETTIEST tapestries and tablecloths and what have you that would have gone great in my Haussmannian immeuble, but they were like 200€!
Also today, apparently there is a chapel at my school. Figures, as it was built by monks with their bare hands in the 1800s, or so the rumor goes, but I had never seen it. Today, for December 8th, the monks came for mass! December 8, vous voyez, is the day when everyone gives thanks to Marie Vierge, otherwise known as the Virgin Mary, who saved the city of Lyon in 1852 from the plague. Which explains the Fete des Lumieres in Lyon, it's to give thanks to her. So there was mass today. I am not Catholic by any definition of the word, I am no religion in particular for that matter, but even so, I went with my Catholic friend Charlotte to the mass. It was so cool!! It looks like a mini cathedral in the chapel, so pretty. And a guy dressed in full ecclesiastical attire leading the service, the monks in authentic brown robes with ropes at the waist carrying those things that give out smoke, etc. Very fun. Didn't take communion, because there is a limit to where my interest in each religion stops. But it was so much fun! How many people can say they went to an authentic mass in Lyon on December 8th?
Today's quotes of the day are as follows.
"Is this a French speaking audience?"
"NEIN!!!!" Marie, the German girl, in a fit of desperate confusion, vs. the French teacher
"Oooh, that means I'm 19 places in front of you!"
"Fuck you!" Tracy vs Carole. The latter is said with the same facial expression of thought and wonder. Trop drole!
"And towards the end of the introduction you are to do a commentary of the subject to show that you have understood."
"And if you haven't understood?"
French class. That explains everything.
"Travailleurs, Travailleuses!"
-Ophélia
"That's it. I'm going on strike."
"You can't go on strike, you're not paid! I, however..."
Marie (the loudass French marie, there are like 4 people named Marie in my class) vs. the French teacher
"But like nobody says that!"
"Aww, isn't she cute!!" Marie, the German, vs. the German teacher
"What the shit is this, Ezzur??!!" Italian teacher, before reading aloud my crappyass essay answer for my last 4 hour Italian exam.
"Non so come aspetta quindici phrasi!" -Me, when by the 7th sentence I was completely out of ideas.
"Heather, I looked it up. Tennessee is nowhere close to being between Texas and Florida!" -Tracy, who, after listening to me explain that I live between Texas and Florida for four months, just figured out that that's not true. How the crap else do you explain it??
"Oh non. Regarde. Tracy est en train de réflechir..."
"Oh, non!!!!"
"Oh, non!" -What my math teacher wrote on my first calculus test, which NO ONE will let me live down.
"You do not ask why in 6th year German!!" -The wrath of my Alsacian German teacher, who, as it's been said, since she's neither French nor German but a wanderer in between, she has the capacity to have multiple personalities and therefore multiple wraths. I think she's great!!
GG! love you
08 déc 2005 @ 18:02
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Something amusing for you all.
You should recognise this. If you don't, none of you has the right to ever call me unamerican. EVER!
Un jour, il y a longtemps
Je peux encore rapeller
Comment cette musique m'a fait sourire
Et je savais que si j'avais la chance
Je pourrait faire les gens danser
Et peut-etre ils seraient contente pour un moment
En fevrier, j'avais froid
Avec chaque journal j'ai donné
Mauvaise nouvelle à la porte
J'ai pas pu encore marcher
Je rapelle pas si j'ai pleuré quand j'ai lu de sa femme tout seul
Mais quelque chose m'a touché dedans le jour
La musique est morte.
Au revoir mad'moiselle Amérique
j'ai conduit jusqu'à levée
mais elle était seche.
Les bons garcons buvait du whiskie et blé
Chantant ça sera le jour que je meurs
Ca sera le jour que je meurs...
As-tu écrit le livre d'amour
Et crois-tu en Dieu au-dessus
Si la bible nous a dit...
Crois-tu bien en rock et roll
Musique, peut-elle te sauver
et peux-tu me montrer comment danser doucement...
Alors je sais que vous êtes amoureux
parce que je vous ai vus en dansant
Vous perdiez vos chaussures
Et j'aime les rythmes et bleus
J'étais timide dans mon enfance
Avec une fleur rose et une voiture vielle
Mais j'ai su que j'avais pas de chance le jour
La musique est morte
Alors, chantez
Au revoir, Mad'moiselle Amérique
j'ai conduit jusqu'à la levée
mais elle était seche.
Les bons garçons buvait du whiskie et blé
chantant ça sera le jour que je meurs
Ca sera le jour que je meurs...
Alors c'est 10 ans que nous sommes tout seul
Et il y a verdure sur les pierres
Mais c'était pas toujours comme ça...
Et quand le clown chantait pour la roi et la reine
Dans un monteau il a loué de James Dean
et une voix qui est venue de toi et moi...
Et quand le rois regardait pas
Le clown a volé sa couronne
Le cour était fermé
Aucune décision est venue
Et quand Lenon a lu un livre sur Marx
Les musiciens jouaient dans le parc
Et nous chantions quand il faisait noir le jour
La musique est morte.
Nous chantions
au revoir mad'moiselle Amérique
j'ai conduit jusqu'à la levée
mais elle était seche.
Les bons garçons buvait du whiskie et blé
chantant ca sera le jour que je meurs
Ca sera le jour que je meurs...
Ok. What's scary is that the beat matches up correctly...
Quote of the day:
"Dark and difficult times lie ahead, Harry. Soon, we must all decide between what is right, and what is easy." Professor Dumbledore
Bonne soirée à tous!
h
03 déc 2005 @ 19:50
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